Nostalgia

The things are not going fine. I try to forget, but I remember about her all the time. Today I saw a pic of the cartoon Masha and the Bear, and it made me remind about her, because once she commented that her niece is addicted for that.
I try to think about another woman, I try to forget about her, and I start to feel so bad, is like I can't breathe.
That's is a interesting thing, because I'll tell you a secret. She broke up with me because she discovered that I had a chat with a girl, I mean, flirting. That's my problem, big problem. I did it several times, and she forgave me, but now is different. And I think she is right, I don't deserve anymore any chance. It's too much.
I can't explain what happens, I just can say that I can't control myself, I'm addicted to write someone and take some sexy pictures​. It's not normal. I went to the doctor, she will give me medicaments for the anxiety, antidepressive and to decrease my sexual libido.
I really wish to not be this way, this destroyed my life. Many moments, with many people.
I try to find myself on it, I try to put my head on the pillow and sleep, but I can't.
To write, and put all out is what is avoiding my suicide. After start to write, I feel that I need to finish the story before die.